Sunday, August 23, 2015

DETECTED

Crap
looked at them
say that and swell
negatives positively repulsive
my actions are fly paper
on this plane with a search engine
fueled by shit running on full
cats shelved on blackened seats
lots of things sharp things
going through people
eyes pierced with heartburn
grass on fire
they call it grass
dried up wire
threading its way
through dividers for classes
cancelled due to increased
enrollment fantasies
bras with plastic nipples
shaped to punctuate 
what goes ahead 
doomed ventures
middle initials
smashed between voids
on the couch
faint
faint eyes
smiles disappearing
middle initials
smashed 


- Max Stoltenberg

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

PENINSULA AWAY FROM CONDOMS

I always thought or so I figured that the upper case managed to erect a false sense of pride in humble middles she outlined her breathing in and out tortured for being in the Sun in the Sun wouldn't that be a return the lady would stare at you in contempt long after you sizzled out of recognition to crinkle back into a bloody twilight marred with with with with I feel I feel or so I figured that the upper case managed to erect a false sense of pride in humble middles she outlined her breathing in and out tortured for being in the Sun in the Sun putting it together putting together the money the money that is a joke in the Sun tortured with residence after abiding in the skipping of time as it glances off the last spill you made I made we made I always thought or so I figured that the that I feel I feel crazy I got that term from work from my friends from my family from people my family hung out with when they used to hang out with people and complain about them the next day or because they couldn't fall asleep on the other side of the wall where I listened not being able to fall asleep.

I lifted the bottle with hardly any resistance due obviously obvious now due to its emptiness obvious now I stop going to him the password the code the answer I've made up to the question by falling down out of her my mother to the ground thunking it out for myself after having before having little to go on so much to go on enough to go on that fit this in front of me within me and now the obvious now that I start to see not see so clearly as I start to slip out of the car of attention to this these events these introductions to people who smile their smiles overrun their boundaries and spill and unravel the wool over the eyes mention that to the inspector and she just might see to it that you'll need to come back and wait in that line over there pointing at it with this finger with this finger I thee could never put all the books back and they're watching me to confirm that I have been copying someone else's lack and the article mentioned you not in a very good light but it did mention you the kind that comes through like a wet sack forced through a hole in the overcast.

It's another day, but have you seen or spoken with the counter and what remains of her family what a way to treat someone who counts life seems to be about getting rid of where it wants to add itself who has a voice for sitting with three different pants and trying to hide their penchant for unzipping and pretending to listen and we have always said a buttload is a lot and meanwhile back to me laughing at what I thought you said and you didn't mean it didn't mean haven't meant anything and neither have I we pretend to both have known that pretend it isn't true or I say that when I haven't been paying attention so much for another day.

"What is this?"
"Your receipt a receipt."
"What am I going to use a receipt for?"
"When things get back to where they can get back to something sort of organized but not as much as they were when we complained about things being too organized."
"So you finally admit it."
"Admit what?"
"After forgetting and neglecting and forgetting to give me a receipt you give me one when it no longer means anything."
"I've given you a receipt for every little transaction between us down to exchanging looks."
"After I've had to remind you most times."
"Even when many looks were vegetative scans of my surroundings. I am surrounded by meaninglessness as my mind freezes under the harsh sun of the desert.  Scratching my skull has proven futile."
"Is that another bunch of dried blood in your hair?"
"Probably and it's too late to write any of this down and so I'm saying it over and over again until I get sick of my own voice the repetitions and hearing it and now I know you have woven me into stitching of forgetting and neglecting and forgetting where neglect is the middle child."
"You also admit that you would prefer things to not get as far back as certain groups would promote certain points along the space-time continuum."
"What certain groups?"
"And why do ask that question?"
"Because I want to know."
"Sorry, I'm not going down that road along the space-time continuum."
"You do that thing my therapist used to do where I would ask him a question and he would ask me why I asked the question to get to what was underneath my question underneath my skirt is more like what he was interested in."
"Whatever happened to your therapist?"
"I think I heard he always wanted to get out of the desert."
"And did he?"
"I think I heard he spent all of his money so he could get to some island that sank into the ocean well it didn't sink the ocean climbed on its shoulders and pushed it down until it drowned like a bully at the community pool."
"More like a criminal, bullies don't follow through."
"The bullies I had growing up followed through."
"Then your bullies were criminals."
"None of them as far as I know ever got their comeuppance because no one ever followed through and I suppose that's criminal as well whether there's follow through or no follow through it's criminal."

as I start to slip out of the car of attention to this these events these introductions to people who smile their smiles overrun their boundaries and spill and unravel the wool over the eyes mention that to the inspector and she just might see to it that you'll need to come back and wait in that line over there pointing at it with this finger with this finger I thee could never put all the books back and they're watching me to confirm that I have been copying someone else's lack and the article mentioned you not in a very good light but it did mention you the kind that comes through like a wet sack forced through a hole in the overcast.

It's another day, but have you seen or spoken with the counter and what remains of her family what a way to treat someone who counts life seems to be about getting rid of where it wants to add itself who has a voice for sitting with three different pants and trying to hide their penchant for unzipping and pretending to listen and we have always said a buttload is a lot and meanwhile back to me laughing at what I thought you said and you didn't mean it didn't mean haven't meant anything and neither have I we pretend to both have known that pretend it isn't true or I say that when I haven't been paying attention so much for another day.

The tape the tape is wrapped around the box the tape is wrapped around the box filled with the dog's ashes as the bottom line fades in and out and the icons pop in and out of existence or above and below the surface where they sink or hang in there ready to answer anyone who asks who cares to ask who acts like they give a shit learning anything so they can sprinkle meaning on their food for thought and what it really looks like when it comes out the back of them.  He thought they had three rolls of tape one of them is empty two of them are empty he knew they had only one roll of tape turning it around to find where he can separate the adhesion from itself.

Surviving for another semester
of depositing its gravel 
in the oven of not very notable
whispered anxieties
rubbed out between fingers
scolded by the night's lack
lack of sleep
dreaming of drills between toes
as they grow together
and they call this
growth


- Max Stoltenberg