THIS BEATING

This head that beating this suffering that ailment this irregularity that anomaly this blood that spill this regret that smear this stoppage that continuation this waiting that prolonging this hesitance that silence this dread that intimidation this shroud that exhuming this heaviness that uprooting this crumbling that flattening this screaming that ignorance this recluse that void this stain that rejection this sarcasm that misunderstanding this delusion that nightmare this madness that illusion this despair that condemnation this poison that weapon this other thing that other thing.


"So I said to him is this going to be another one of those no one does their job conversations?" he said to him.


"And then that leads into the could you do this for me exchange," he said to her.


"Which inevitably gets around to yet more anecdotes of so and so and so and so and their exchange of bodily fluids," she said to them.


"Don't forget so and so and their so and so," said no one in particular to anyone else in particular.


They ask questions with answers at the ready get yours in before they squeeze never mind that never mind this legs talking with legs for grinding responses laughed at in the lunchroom all those nothing to add speed bumping on the way to the way what way was that?


"Why does it always end up heading in the wasted potential and need more direction direction?" he said to the speakerphone.


"It all seems so effortless these coordinated efforts," said the speakerphone to the rest of the empty parking attendant's booth.


Closing it while they want their reasons walking away while they want to make their considerations off in another direction while they want their edgewise cliffhangers upcoming events playing the key note speaking in focus objectively populating with objects recycling objections reviewing past fragments breaking up its breaking up and yet this or that plus that comes out to don't be so negative closing it not so negative to close with the so negative to close with the how the world ends closing closing it where the world ends up stuck inside the front door too late for  closing it while they want their reasons walking away while they make their considerations off in another direction directions dotted with flashlights with low batteries with so much darkness in between the don't do it like that think about it until you wished you hadn't done it like that and wished you had done it like this is how the play goes while closing it while they keep it open want so much to keep it open talking with their legs asking questions with their answers at the ready get yours in before they squeeze never mind this head this beating flashlights flashes of red light red faces black hair between knuckles putting minds to it this crumbling that flattening onto desks red bloody eyes closing it while they want their reasons asking their questions with their answers at the ready get yours in before they squeeze never mind this head this beating in this head hands beating in this head flashes of red light red faces red bloody eyes closing it dogs closing eyes legs appear in the shadows of their lowered lids legs close this head appears in the shadows of their lowered lids this head this beating in this head hands beating in this head flashes of red light red faces red bloody eyes closing it dogs closing eyes legs appear in the shadows of their lowered lids.




- Max Stoltenberg