UNNECESSARY

Those questions come around again like that nauseous feeling that was believed to have faded away that gets the body stumbling stumbling over itself.  Here they are again spreading out through a growing hole in the crotch of a pair of pants drifting up to the nostrils reminders of the curled up wet cigarette ruined in a spot on the pavement by someone's urine a pissy attitude spreading out those questions there they are again spreading out through a growing hole in the crotch of a pair of pants drifting and drifting up to the nostrils reminders of thoughts wrapped up inside the skull like a rotted garden hose stinking back out those questions into mutterings those questions there they are again spreading out through a growing hole in the crotch of a pair of pants drifting up to the nostrils reminders of talking out of one's ass.

unnecessary for a beginning
unnecessary for an end
only an on and on
loquacious and laconic
too early don't wait
too late don't bother

eyelids lifted overhead
lashes sucked into pupils
black holes
what's the matter?
what's the matter?

unnecessary for a beginning
unnecessary for an end
only an on and on

"What's the matter?"
"What's the matter?"
"I asked you first."
"You asked me first."
"And?"
"And what?"
"Never mind.  Something's obviously the matter."
"Obviously."
"I said never mind."
"Then never your mind."

Tap the glass.  They said not to do it.  Not to this glass but other glass the one they said not to tap on even though everyone else would tap on it for a joke most laughed except for can't remember her name started with an R or a J was it no think she had a small r somewhere towards the end or perhaps a t or two always appreciated a couple of t's she must have taken them with her somewhere out from behind the glass that was certainly not for tapping until they told you to leave not meant to be part of a team suppose so got out from behind the glass not for tapping even thought everyone else would.  Tap the glass at the end of the street that ends at the hills those mounds where they dump things tap the glass.  They said not to do it.

"What's the matter?"
"What's the matter?"
"There you go again now get up."
"Can you wait until I finish throwing up?"
"You're dry heaving."
"Look you missed it."
"Missed what?  A chunk?"
"No.  It was a bit of string.  You missed it floating off that way," and she indicated with her soiled left hand pointing down the street.
"Looked more like a feather.  Did you find a dead bird again that the cats missed?"
"You weren't even looking.  You just want me to get up again so you can try kicking me in the shins this time.  I used to think you did it to watch how I fall.  I used to think your hope revolved around the possibility of me landing on my face.  Land on those crusty lips of yours you're thinking to yourself.  Kiss the sidewalk with those thinning lips of yours you tell yourself as you wander around when you can't find me for a couple of days when I manage some nasty peace for myself accompanied only by the sounds of what's trying to escape from my own body.  It was a piece of string you fuckhead."
"From what?  A dress that isn't here right now?  It's sorry to say that it couldn't join us?  Gone somewhere in a half made-up story of yours half-baked in that dead nest of filthy hair where any interest in you contrived enough to drag you along until you start yammering and yammering to drown out that he won't be coming he won't be coming."
"Think it was from my underwear."
"I thought you gave up on trying to scrounge up any.  Get up."
"You're such a do-it-yourself guy.  Take hold of it.  It's at the end of your race.  Claim your shitty prize.  Drink deep.  Dig in.  And you can spread your word across the desert that grows with each fistful you take each clump of baldness you make in the strands left limp in the wake of the trichotillomania of reality."

Out from behind the glass that was certainly not for tapping until they told you to leave not meant to be part of a team suppose so got out from behind the glass not for tapping even thought everyone else would.  Tap the glass at the end of the street that ends at the hills those mounds where they dump things tap the glass.  They said not to do it.  Not meant to be said not to do it got out from behind the glass until they told you to leave not meant to be out from behind the glass tap the glass not meant to be.


- Max Stoltenberg