HEDGING SILENCE

The nose-pickings were less chunky of late the body made its protests through its bleeding had to wait until that shit dried before starting again why wait there is always the waiting did it ever tell you the time when nothing came out did it ever tell you did it ever occur to you why there is always the waiting tilting the head the side that could still hear still take some fraction of the sounds that remain after the bottom was reached did they skip to the end and forego the beginning or did they not make it that far not bother just glance at what fit into the holes swallowed up the waiting hovering the ear above the road fooled into the listening as long as this part as long as this part of the road under the back and forth of trapped things something has you fooled into listening to a welling deep within did it ever tell you did it ever occur to you why there is always the waiting tilting the head the side that could still hear still take some fraction of the sounds that remain something has you fooled into the listening as long as this part as long as this part of the road waiting hovering the ear above the road fooled into the listening as long as life has that much of your attention waiting hovering the ear above the road fooled.

"My stomach hurts."
"It's because of the water we found."
"I know it's because of that."
"I'm tired so don't aggravate me."
"I'm nauseous so make sure you're not in my line of spew."
"You're regretting it."
"I know I produce a smaller volume."
"Not that.  I mean you're regretting finding the water."
"That's true.  I am regretting it.  What it did was to breach all those tight locked up places and flood them with its grease and set the whole miserable wheels and cogs in motion again."
"You know what this is?"
"You not following through."
"Where it goes to."
"Where?"
"You're asking me now?"
"I'm asking you about your asking your question."
"I wasn't asking a question.  I started with one yes but then I followed it up with a statement.  Now I see that you peeled off a piece of it and turned it into one."
"I see it squatting on a couch."
"So it has become a matter of who."
"Not in the least.  It has become a matter of what."
"There once was a man who would imagine he saw a young boy who would imagine the man was him when he would grow older and then reject the idea by waving his right hand across his neck in a slashing motion and the man would imagine himself interjecting in a conversation and see the young boy making the slashing gesture and the man would stop himself and say nothing more."
"Ever again."
"What ever again?"
"He would say nothing more ever again."
"That's not how it goes."
"It's not?"
"Not in the slightest."
"You're liking the way that sounds."
"I am, but not as much as this brings us to the most important part of the problem."
"Really?  You like that better?"
"Whatever again."
"He would say nothing more ever again."
"No, this brings us to where I say whatever again."
"Well, if you're going to say it like that."
"It's not how you say things.  It's what you always say."
"Which reminds me of a question I was going to ask."
"This is not going to involve square roots is it?"
"Do you remember when there were boxes?"
"Yes.  No.  Is this a trick question?"
"Do you remember the kind that could be lived in?"
"They were called something else weren't they?"
"No, I mean using discarded boxes to live in."
"Well, yes, if you put it that way and you have.  I yes I do remember spending some time in one of those."
"And when and where was that?"
"It was when I was older."
"Older?  You mean younger younger than you are now."
"I won't deny that I get confused."
"That's an understatement."
"Where is not any easier to answer."
"Where what?"
"Not where what.  Just where.  And this brings us to the most important part of the problem."
"And you like the way that sounds."
"For the moment.  When nothing else remains all you can do is stay in a box if you can still find one or remember when or where."
"And where is what brings us to the most important part of the problem."
"And where is what?"
"If you want to go on and break that off the front."
"It's all I have left to deface these days."
"I think you are overstating things."
"And this is what brings us to the most important part of the problem when we think we remember what we are referring to when we think we remember a box and what it is or was or what it used to contain."
"Do you remember another way?"
"Of continuing?  I think that's what I've been trying to get around to."
"Another way of containing something.  Do you remember that?"
"Holding?"
"Yes that one."
"Holding.  What about it?"
"Do you remember holding something or someone?"
"I only remember holding my face in my hands.  It's not very far from my mind as it oozes out a little more condiments of my memories each day gradually losing more of their flavor."
"Do you remember another way?"
"Of continuing?"
"Yes continuing."
"Something about it coming down to less than a handful and we end up in the same place like that makes any difference. Ow!  What did you hit me for?  Is that supposed to be have something to do with a box?"
"Did it ever occur to you why there is always the waiting tilting the head the side that could still hear still take some fraction of the sounds that remain something has you fooled into the listening as long as this part as long as this part of the road waiting hovering the ear above the road fooled into the listening as long as life has that much of your attention waiting hovering the ear above the road fooled."

Just glance at what fit into the holes swallowed up the waiting hovering the ear above the road fooled into the listening as long as this part as long as this part of the road under the back and forth of trapped things something has you fooled into listening to a welling deep within did it ever tell you did it ever occur to you why there is always the waiting tilting the head the side that could still hear still take some fraction of the sounds that remain something has you fooled into the listening as long as this part as long as this part of the road waiting hovering the ear above the road fooled into the listening as long as life has that much of your attention waiting hovering the ear above the road fooled.

The nose-pickings were less chunky of late the body made its protests through its bleeding had to wait until that shit dried before starting again why wait there is always the waiting did it ever tell you the time when nothing came out did it ever tell you did it ever occur to you why there is always the waiting tilting the head the side that could still hear still take some fraction of the sounds that remain after the bottom was reached.


- Max Stoltenberg