How to get at it was the problem with the undigested or not yet digested parts positions the usual such unusual the usual blanks to fill in with the usual things we tell ourselves as we tread carefully making sure not to slip on the floor lubed up with the latest bodily fluid slick watch your step was it 2 or 3 go back to 1 and start over where you come in the door before you come in the door and wait press the button where you wait and press the button and looking at dark glass opaque with absence turning around to look for the mountains obscured by haze maybe not maybe which comes first in the mind which to end with which becomes close to it in the epistemological spin of the wheel is that how it is done how to get at it probably probably not which comes first in the mind which to end with which becomes close to it in the whatever some side effect special effect some side effect put it there and the skin is turning a strange unusual color usual color seen it before the last time your face looked down at the dirty rug in front of the toilet and the cafeteria tray saw it flying over the fence wanted to see one do that although it had be accompanied by the splatter of food the usual such unusual usual bruised menu for those who stand in line and forgot to bring forgot it on the counter in the kitchen back home turnaround swept by the exhaust of turnover or swallow it in a big enough gulp empty plastic bottle falling from hands bouncing off the concrete face planting a corpse too usual such unusual too usual a tired swing back against the button depress it with your ass your gut depress it and they will ignore you for it not anyhow how to get at it.
"Where are you going?"
"What? I was going to see if there was any coffee left."
"You just made a fresh pot."
"I did, but if Bellicose didn't call out sick again then it might be gone already."
"When did they hire somebody?"
"They haven't hired anyone in months."
"I thought they preferred us short-staffed."
"They do. It didn't register any of my progress. I have to fucking start all over again."
"Hopped the median have we? It's just that I don't recall us having anyone by that name. Are you referring to a document or an RPG?"
"Do you hear that? What is that? Does that sound like a swarm of bees to you?"
"Like what the last dust storm blew into the vents?"
"Just like that. Shit that sucked."
"No. I think it's one of the auditors in the next office."
"Scratching their nails or talons on something?"
"They have their own soundtrack utilizing dissonant strings."
"What kind of soundtrack would you say I have?"
"Along the lines of orchestral fragments that suggests music unable to form into anything coherent like a cigarette lighter that sparks but never lights."
"Not even a dirge?"
"Not a . . ."
"Not a . . ."
"Not a what?"
"Not a sausage."
"Where did you go just then?"
"Where did I go?"
"Yes, where did you go?"
"When did I go is more the question. And I can tell you it wasn't during the dot dot dot."
"Is this about there being an infinite number of little sub-dot particles between each of the three dots?"
"I could go into that more in depth but there is neither enough time or space in work and sleep never mind all the time or space I have wasted inside a fax machine."
"I thought you were going to say a woman."
"If I were ever that fortunate it would have been more appropriate to frame it the other way around."
"I don't really give a shit when you went there's a septic tank in that head of yours and it's flooding the grass of my mood and that reminds me I've almost saved up enough to get my medical marijuana card."
"How have you managed to save at all? Are you starving yourself again?"
"Just putting off my creditors as long as I can that's all."
"I knew it. That explains why you look like an clear piece of shrink-wrap with nothing inside."
"It's not that bad. I'm ending up paying less. Fake card and what not."
"And what not."
"And that entails the loose lips and the sinking of ships what not right?
"Right. Although no bodies of water in this dried out barren void. Only bodies of bottled water. Loose lips messy shits."
"I have to make sure to protect my interests with all that swirling maelstrom of filth in that head of yours."
"I'm destroying worlds in here. I see darkness outside the window and inside every room. I burst every bubble other people float close enough to me. I watch every one of their pathetic little rainbows on those thin surfaces disappear into the nothingness they really are."
"Did you ever hear the one about the mother who had enlisted her daughter's help to clean her room in preparation for a move that was later postponed when the father didn't get the job. The mother found a collage her daughter had put together including a photograph of a woman leaning against a tree that had been drawn on some studio background. The woman leaning against the tree was naked except for a sheet of paper over her crotch that had a drawing of a man's face with his mouth open. The woman's hole wasn't even her own."
"I hear the auditor talking to somebody on the phone."
"What're they saying?"
"I don't know but it does sound like another dust storm outside."
The wheel is that how it is done how to get at it probably probably not which comes first in the mind which to end with which becomes close to it in the whatever some side effect special effect some side effect put it there and the skin is turning a strange unusual color usual color seen it before the last time your face looked down at the dirty rug in front of the toilet and the cafeteria tray saw it flying over the fence wanted to see one do that although it had be accompanied by the splatter of food the usual such unusual usual bruised menu for those who stand in line.
- Max Stoltenberg