LOOK TO THE DRAIN

Where had that thing that they were going to discuss say gone off to? Tell you them to their face faces somebody threw them their faces against the wall next to the glass the glass window and watched them slide down most of the day and almost all night haven't even made it halfway down the wall don't know where the halfway mark is very certain about the halfway mark in their faces could always see that with their being so half-assed and now we're getting that red line underneath part of what we see and it's distracting us from the verses about the drowning in something or other that's been defecated triangles with shaved heads in the corners examining the morose toenails dragging along the floors of downcast closets threading the talks between lenses where had that thing that they were going to discuss say gone off to? Tell you them to their face faces somebody threw them their faces against the wall next to the glass the glass window and watched them slide down most of the day and almost all night haven't even made it halfway down the wall don't know where the halfway mark is very certain about the halfway mark in their faces could always see that with their being so half-assed and now we're getting that red line underneath part of what we see surrounding the painting of the reeking bed in darker shades of nightmares sinking into the folds of the soiled sheets their being.

Their being said whatever came to their minds in this place this place that is one not too generously measured off garbage disposal jammed until another one opens their mouth running a sharp observation around the rim of our lowered expectations falling down further into our guts smothered with more to do with less returning to the shitter just came from there left prematurely into the rest of the world as usual. The animals are getting up before we ask each other where we've been where they've gone that they were going to discuss say that thing that they were going to discuss gone off to?

Don't quite follow you
and never been one
not to follow

"What do you think you're doing?" 
"Putting some things together."
"What things?"
"Birth and death."
"What are you talking about?"
"Or at least a little closer together."
"Are you intending what I think you're intending?"
"Thoughts and actions."
"Just come back into the break room."
"My therapist said neurotics have a major disconnect between their thoughts and their actions."
"I'll get you something from the snack machine."
"I thought you didn't have any money."
"The snack machine has a debit card reader now."
"I thought you didn't have any money in your bank account at all."
"Just not until after the next 3 paychecks that's all."
"And so I'm plugging those cables into each other."
"4 paychecks then I'm back to about base."
"Let go of my arm."
"Ground dirt level."
"Let go of my left arm if there was any confusion in that congested knuckle head of yours."
"Fine go."

Don't quite follow you
and never been one
not to follow
nasty ink of the asshole
gets on everything
standing in the doorway
of the same thing
over and over
and over
teacher said teacher said
and now 
closing it behind me
a last kick 
into my internal mess
sends me in the direction
of her bones
in the grave

"Did you hear me?"
"I did."
"Then go."
"I did just mentally it was practice."
"Go physically if that's what you really want. Plug your cables into each other. Go fuck yourself."
"I thought I was already doing that just by being here."
"It's really hot out there."
"I know."
"It burns your skin out there."
"I know what a desert does you ulcerated idiot. That's why I'm going."
"There's no water out there."
"I'm sick of the water in here."
"I've vomited twice today."
"I mean I'm sick of the water in here in my body."
"Twice is below average for me."
"I'm prolonging this and I know why."
"Because of my crafty argumentation?"
"No."
"Because they keep making you add more letters to the end of your name?"
"That's actually part of it, but no. I just find myself glancing out into that vast waste behind our complex and dreading how long it will take."
"Then come back in and do it some quicker way."
"They've taken all the sharp office supplies."
"I still manage to hurt myself."
"As do I just not mortally."
"You'd think with all the radios playing different channels at the same time that would be enough to send one over the edge."
"It was when they were all set to the same one that I thought did it, but now I can add another reason why I took so long to off myself to the list."
"You just reminded me that I haven't finished that report for Ruckus in Post-Human Resources."
"Will you shut the hell up?! Shit, working in a prison has to be the most literal fucked up metaphor there is."
"You're just realizing that now?"
"It comes back to me every so often along with the chest pains and the spasms in my thumb muscle."
"I get that as well the thumb muscle thing that is."
"All the desert is good for is drying out our dirty laundry."
"It's the little things in life."
"And a dry red wine sloshes around all that baggage back to life."
"My ex and I would fight over which one of us had to turn all the shirts right side out when folding and putting the clothes away."
"I thought there were all the infidelities that was the culprit."
"The culprit was that she couldn't take her shirts off like a normal human being and then we had to fight about it and that led to us disagreeing about all the other horseshit."
"They haven't taken the staple removers. I could use that, but it's a matter of them finding me at my desk and all that. I prefer the idea of doing the erasing myself at least the rest of it."
"It's the little things in life."
"Then there are all the checkpoints."
"I'm giving it until our conversations start sounding like those recorded phone calls that are programmed to sound like a person responding to what you say. That's what'll do it for me."
"Perhaps I'll wait till after work."
"They have checkpoints in your neighborhood."
"They're not in effect until about an hour after my shift. That gives me about a 15 minute window to get to the edge."
"What if they make you stay over?"
"It'll have to be next week then."
"Next week?"
"Next week, definitely."

Their being said whatever came to their minds in this place this place that is one not too generously measured off garbage disposal jammed until another one opens their mouth running a sharp observation around the rim of our lowered expectations falling down further into our guts smothered with more to do with less returning to the shitter just came from there left prematurely into the rest of the world as usual. The animals are getting up before we ask each other where we've been where they've gone that they were going to discuss say that thing that they were going to discuss gone off to?


- Max Stoltenberg