So like it was like it was only being spoken in the head you know the mind never you mind never you know the mind fuck there it goes again not happening and it is in the never you mind mind not spoken at all and yet it makes that sound some sound is it a sound that it makes making this shit up fuck flat ducks is this what's on the agenda for the rest of this whatever someone's or some group someone's group or board of directionless or more so too directed backing their SUVs over whatever digression happens to be in the way digressing so like it was like it was only being spoken in the head there were these window washers but and but never you mind that now that sound it seemed to have made not spoken at all wait there is going to be a sneeze and what who someone else did it no that was a cough no that was a fart a short no it's still going it stopped finally it is being followed by another one no one is laughing because maybe because the air quality is being twisted like this table sitting around farting around not laughing around around the round table actually octagonal hexagonal trapezoidal who picked this damn table? window washers never you mind spoken not spoken thoughts like making a tiny bubble between chapped lips and popping it with forced breath taking just enough out of it so that the nearest human being won't lay into you with a "is that really necessary?" No, actually, it's not necessary. Will leave right now or last week if you want if it wasn't for this failure surrounding or surrounded by darkness on both sides two halves of darkness believe their names are late evening and early morning walking this cloudy day of failure to this chair in the blackness of the room if it's still a room smells more like a rectum with a poker game jammed in its shit path being choked by another person's growing distemper will leave if it wasn't for this can't see a thing failure don't want you to have to have yourself get bumped into or hassled by this failure being escorted by the undertakers of social interaction.
Dudo: There were these window washers -
Hotmessier: Never you mind.
Rit: What do you think caused it?
Gwel-Nolan: Each one of us blowing methane out his ass.
Hotmessier: Don't forget Ethel give credit where credit is due. No one deserves to be cut out when it comes to slicing up the cheese pizza when it comes to cutting a good one.
Ethel: I appreciate the inclusion, but all of these have not been good ones especially mine.
Never you mind no it's not it's not necessary actually not necessary will leave right now or last week if it wasn't for this can't see a thing like it's like liked it better when it was thoughts bordering on the edge of an exhaled bubble popping between chapped lips bordering on the edge of sound only to border on the edge of a chair somewhere at the end of the back that's running up against someone's dislike for silence kind of like purpose defeating the whole quiet without power was it there were these window washers.
Rit: That's not what I was asking about.
Gwel-Nolan: I know. I prefer to fill the time imagining everyone including Ethel (thank you, Hotmessier) tilting in their chairs periodically.
Dudo: Periodically we have to tilt at something in the dark.
Ethel: I actually remembered a fragment of one of my dreams the other day.
Rit: Keep talking. Eventually I will forget another one of my questions.
Ethel: I was lying on my stomach on a bed and I say that because it wasn't my own bed and I'm looking down at the floor the carpet in some bedroom and this guy has just left and I'm pretty sure he just told me that I'm next per my request.
Hotmessier: Per your request for what?
Ethel: To die and he left and went off to I think it was my left over here in the corner of my eye inside my head since I was dreaming it was just carrying on like it had been carrying on without me and with me since I had to remember it it had to float to the top like a toilet that won't flush.
Hotmessier: So some guy left to the left? Like your driver side not your passenger side.
Ethel: These dreams I have we have keep running in the manner of someone forgetting to turn the TV off and they keep playing even if you're clearly on or in the driver side.
Gwel-Nolan: There was a manor in your dream where someone left a TV on on the left where the guy went?
Ethel: Did Bechdel leave? I need to talk to her.
Gwel-Nolan: I think they were here less than a minute. Of course, now have no idea what time it is or has been when I focus on now. A lot of good focusing on now does.
Hotmessier: Do you remember anything else?
Ethel: Just the voice of this guy just off to the side and my knowing having this feeling and looking at the carpet this ugly beige carpet actually like the one I do have and it begins to blink the only way I can describe it blink or even crinkle and open up holes in the carpet like a film melting on a big theater screen and his voice the memory of the memory of it fills me with dread because suddenly I care about living with seeing the fucking ugly assed beige carpet and the voice is taking too long to come back and get it over with so I stay with the dread I felt before when I was I guess making my request.
Dudo: Rit, I think it was a solar storm.
Ethel: And the film never completely melts it just flaps in the heat of the projector bulb just flapping with a big gaping hole filling it with this suddenly caring garbage and the baby shit colored carpet staring and the voice is taking too long to come back too long the warped film flapping in the heat of life.
Dudo: Oh, there were these window washers -
Hotmessier: Never you mind.
The cluttered table sauced with the darkness of the room was encumbered by several mouths yawning bad breath into an enlarged clot of a setting. There were these window washers never you mind around the table sauced with the darkness of the room was encumbered by several mouths yawning bad breath into an enlarged clot of a setting. There were these window washers never you mind.
So like it was like it was only being spoken in the head you know the mind never you mind never you know the mind fuck there it goes again not happening and it is in the never you mind mind not spoken at all and yet it makes that sound some sound is it a sound that it makes making this shit up fuck flat ducks is this what's on the agenda for the rest of this whatever someone's or some group someone's group or board of directionless or more so too directed backing their SUVs over whatever digression happens to be in the way.
- Max Stoltenberg
wonderful thanks as always ever
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