They were practicing their synchronized yawning all the while rubbing their eyes and hardly lifting their asses out of somebody’s talk-show that constantly reared its ugly made over painted over talking heads over and over talking around and under each other transferring from line to line knocking over hydrant after hydrant as they reared back to make room for yet another hydrant to pop up in its lopped off place from place to place once quiet places what had silence been like only what it had been like between them. Someone kept clicking. Someone kept clicking on it. They were leaning on it.
She stirred it again and put it in again and somehow couldn’t get rid of the cold. She stirred it again and put it in again and somehow couldn’t get rid of the cold. Took what she heard took what she got and broke a nail on her right hand trying to pull out a staple. The only response that emerged resulted in unsuccessfully holding back her own isolated laughter at her own sarcasm as a flake of snot hit and stuck to the artificial plant that she thought might have been out of range. Another water balloon inside her myelin hairnet revealed scribbling in its condensation to the effect of being deranged having to do with no longer possessing a talent for extrapolating distances. Distant so distant but nonetheless it was someone. Someone someone kept clicking. Someone kept clicking. Someone kept clicking on it.
Far off it seemed until it pressed deeper between skin and fingernail like slivers of moonlight reflecting off a butcher knife until it pressed deeper between skin and fingernail like slivers of moonlight reflecting off a butcher knife or slivers of moonlight reflecting off a butcher’s 4 by 4 front windshield reflecting the moonlight far off it seemed until it pressed deeper between skin and fingernail like silvers of neon light under obscured moonlight reflecting off a butcher’s baldness dripping with sweat or what looked like it having dripped from the steamy awning up above perspiring with hot rain until it pressed deep far from it distant so distant it was someone. Someone kept clicking. Someone kept clicking on it. They were leaning on it.
“Drowned.”
“Who?”
“Her.”
“Her who?”
“You drowned her out with your noise.”
“Just tore off one sheet from my pad.”
“And you just tore off one good layer from your cuticle.”
“You weren’t supposed to notice that.”
“I was saying.”
“Is it time for lunch?”
“Not yet.”
“Then why did we come in?”
“That’s the real reason we come in.”
“No, I mean in this room.”
“I was saying.”
“Could you start over?”
“None of us can really start over.”
“I call that waking up.”
“I call it something else.”
“You want me to start all the way at the beginning?”
“We’re sorry to make you do that.”
“You might be, but I’m not.”
“All right, he’s not, but I am.”
“Once they got to the part of the project where you put on the what do you call them? Damn, I hate when I do that. They reached that part you know where they have to put on the what you do you call them?”
“I don’t know. You haven’t reached that part yet.”
“Brakes. They put on the brakes.”
“What the hell do you think I’ve been talking about all this time?”
“Nesting grounds.”
“What?”
“Is it time for lunch?”
“Not yet.”
“Is it time for breakfast?”
She stirred it again and put it in again and somehow couldn’t get rid of the cold. She stirred it again and put it in again and somehow couldn’t get rid of the cold. Took what she heard took what she got and broke a nail on her right hand trying to pull out a staple. The only response that emerged resulted in unsuccessfully holding back her own isolated laughter at her own sarcasm as a flake of snot hit and stuck to the artificial plant that she thought might have been out of range. Another water balloon inside her myelin hairnet revealed scribbling in its condensation to the effect of being deranged having to do with no longer possessing a talent for extrapolating distances.
“Not yet.”
“When will it be time for lunch?”
“You mean breakfast.”
“Yes, breakfast. When will it be time for breakfast?”
“Never mind that. You really meant dinner.”
“I did?”
“You were inquiring about dinner.”
“Yeah, when is that?”
“Soon after you return.”
“You make it sound like we never leave.”
“Sure seems that way.”
“Hinges.”
“What about hinges?”
“That’s what they were putting on so they could attach the doors.”
“Some have nerves of steel.”
“And some just have a lot of nerve.”
“And that’s when they realized that they had that whole side of it reversed. So they had to take all the screws on that side out.”
“What are you wearing?”
“It’s a button-down shirt, I think.”
“I can see that. Is it a new type of deodorant?”
“It’s definitely not me.”
“Haven’t showered?”
“Well, that, too, but I’m just past my expiration date.”
She tried
She tried to turn pages
To turn pages
With her tongue
Never fading
Never forming
Until until
Eaten away unnoticed
Grabbing for the bottle
Of white chalkiness
Turning on noticing
No rain to be right as in the backyard where there was that table that picnic table backyard table sat with daddy to play chess took my bishop took his queen he knocked the pieces over got up and walked away far off until dispossessed of the talent what talent for distances.
No rain to be right as.
Turning on noticing
Noticing what has been lost
Beneath the lawn
That has died again
Never fading
Never forming
Until until
Eaten away unnoticed
Grabbing for the bottle
Of white chalkiness
Noticing what has been lost
Beneath the lawn
That has died again
Never fading
Never forming
“A desk. I’ve been talking about a flipping desk that they had half a side reversed with all the screws that they had to re-screw to redo the reversed side back the other way to match the unreversed side the right way.”
“That sounds screwed up.”
“So where do you get it was about driving in all that?”
“I didn’t.”
“Maybe I mentioned something like they were driving screws into it even though they got half of it reversed.”
“No. You didn’t mention driving.”
“Then what’s all that about putting on the brakes?”
“Oh. I thought you made some side comments about one of them having relationship issues.”
“I didn’t make any side comments. You were probably confused by side comments outside what I was saying and in this room.”
“You never told me what deodorant it is.”
“Nothing new under the arms.”
“Why don’t you start at the beginning?”
“Or just get a bag of donettes out of the snack machine.”
“Don’t. You’ll make her go into another self-deprecating rant.”
“I’ll start at the beginning. It starts with someone asking me a question. You know or maybe you don’t. Me. In this room. And then that’s as far as it gets I get because it’s like questions are asked not to get to me but to get to you and the clever or not so clever turning it around or away and you want to talk about driving or maybe I want to talk about driving and how it’s always me seeing you in your cars and you’ll only want to give me some sign of something and all it ends up being is you giving me some sign that you want to get ahead of me so you can make your turn and be on your way away and far off while I sit here asking myself questions answering myself or not answering myself not giving a shit about if it has a point or not.”
“What is the point?”
“To be prepared I think.”
“That's what they keep telling us.”
“That's what they tell each other about their talents.”
“Remotely care, but not very reliable when it comes to distance.”
Most of them died the thoughts most of them had died. There was no use in going over their manner or fashion of death. Only very slight variations characterized each and every snuffing out of flashes in the brain-pan. Away from what was supposed to be right next to it have it within by the undigested lettuce leafs differ seen through remaining thoughts thinner than that much thinner.
- Max Stoltenberg
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