They it was just her her it was just him it was just her and him separated by the singular they they preferred to associate with when they in darker times past darker than the current dark times where nothing was current only overdue refraining from associating with all the routine going over it haven't we we've been over this associating with interpretations reloaded for aiming at someone's spot where it really hurt or they thought they could take it take it for what for a spell into the alley or behind the building to get it out of their system look at the filth on the ground that came out of one end or another so much for ends reloaded for aiming aiming at the spot gets bigger gets smaller skin for a spell into the alley or behind the building to get it out of their system a brief silence in the choking and then the choking continues the tortured music the empty metallic applause of the present always continuing a wheel a steering wheel disobedient to crashing off the road a tree gone by blurred away into disobedience to crashing cemented into the straight and narrow present always continuing with the present the now the pill of their cure the plural they preferred to associate with over the alley in the building back in the building a room they it was just her her it was just him it was just her and him separated by the singular they they preferred to associate with when they in darker times past darker than the current dark times where nothing was current only overdue refraining from associating with all the routine going over it haven't we we've been over this associating with interpretations reloaded for aiming at someone's spot where it really hurt or they thought they could take it take it for what for a spell into the alley or behind the building to get it out of their system look at the filth on the ground.
"What are you looking at?"
"Nothing."
"What are you thinking of?"
"Of?"
"Or about?"
"I can't decide if it's an of or an about."
"Does it make a difference?"
"To some."
"And what about you?"
"I haven't decided."
"Are we going to go over the whole thing?"
"I think we go over it without realizing it and more quickly than we think."
"There should never have been racetracks in the first place."
"You say that now but they keep you alive."
"That's my point."
"You have them inside of you keeping you going. You have them in your blood your circulation."
"Bloody piss poor circulation is what I have."
"That's what sabotages your miserable facial gestures. Fucking surreal they are."
"Don't you think I know. Do you see me looking at myself in the mirror?"
"No, I just see you and the sagging and the chasms and abysses that form around the sockets of your eyes."
"Saggings, chasms, abysses."
"Maybe we didn't follow the instructions."
"Sockets, eyes."
"Maybe it's because we followed the instructions."
"What are you getting at?"
"Maybe we missed a step or took steps and overlapped onto somebody's toes we did."
"Took steps?"
"Overlapping."
"Is this about getting out of line?"
"No. Just making ourselves redundant again."
"Are you going on about solidarity?"
"Solidarity? There's a word for solidarity . . . #2."
"My deficiencies might be external but yours are certainly internal."
"Don't forget about your piss poor circulation."
"Remind me why don't you? That would be both wouldn't it? Fucked up on either side of the wall of our being."
"No wonder they assigned us to this building."
"Makes me think about the woman who found a height and she loosened her scarf."
"Because her blouse was next."
"It was so she could reach with the fingers of her right hand to scratch an itch on the left side of her neck."
"Why didn't she use her left hand?"
"She liked to use her right hand. Plus she was carrying a napsack."
"What was in the napsack?"
"A collection of letters including one that some would say didn't belong and that's exactly why she made sure to put it in with the others."
"Why would some say it didn't belong?"
"It wasn't about catching up on the year that had just passed the year before the previous one and it wasn't about laying things to rest or reminiscing about days when there were people who could recall or think they could recall people who speculated about things that used to be sprinkled over places that had forgotten them. It happened to be from a colleague who used to ask her what the latest bag of parts had been sent down to them would say to them and how it would say it to them and what it would do to them with its parts once they had been arranged in the order they could make of the tiny pictures on the folded paper inside the bag of parts that had been sent down to them from the building on the other side of the desert."
"What did she write to her?"
"She never read it before she took off all her clothes was disappointed by a short breeze that wouldn't return and she jumped."
"The blouse probably was next."
"I'll make you next you scum-clot. Actually I do think about me and her and being next and then I think where am I going to find a height nowadays?"
"I know the options are getting more limited when it comes to refusing to go on. There's this dream I have once every few months or years and I'm not even in it I'm watching some schmuck trying to run away from one of the latest monstrous graders they've just come out with for the next whatever they're calling them now and he finds himself running along a road that turns into a traffic jam that turns into a crowded lobby that turns into these hurdles one after another."
"On a racetrack?"
"And he just keeps knocking them over and stumbling and falling down."
"A racetrack that loops around into a meaningless looping around?"
"And he keeps smashing into them each and every one of them and falling down getting bloodier and getting up and smashing into the next one."
"I told you there should never have been racetracks in the first place."
"The only thing I like about it prefer about it is they the singular they."
"They make the print on these folded papers smaller each whatever they're calling it now."
Inform her misinform her write it on the fridge scratch it out on the back of her shoulder trying to light a used match we've been over this and the caves of disguise raise the torn banners of paintings dug into rock the foundations of cancelled trips teeth can't seem to get any closer together and yet they peel off thoughts from the back of the mind where the things have collected the things you wanted or thought you wanted to select to use to inform her misinform her write it on the fridge scratch it out on the back of her shoulder trying to light a used match we've been over this and the caves of disguise raise the torn banners of paintings dug into rock the foundations of cancelled trips not cancelled just went about something else the usual shit until the trip was too late to get into the only getting into was reserved with all of its reservations was reserved for the caves of disguise raise the torn banners of paintings dug into rock the foundations of cancelled trips teeth can't seem to get any closer together and yet they peel off thoughts from the back of the mind where the things have collected the things you wanted or thought you wanted.
- Max Stoltenberg
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