He slogged towards the window might get there to pull himself up for looking down upon the sidewalk if he could pull himself up if he could slog towards the window might get there what made him think what made him stick to the room to the building he found himself in he had been asking questions again lately and the same answers surfaced between each flush between each lump of defecation he slogged towards the window might get there to pull himself up for looking down upon the sidewalk if he could pull himself up if he could slog towards the window might get there what made him think what made him stick to the room to the building to his own tongue.
"Everything looks like blood to me in the dark."
"But it isn't dark now."
"I know that. I can see that."
"And what does everything look like to you in the light?"
"Petrified and set in silent stone."
"So I said to the doctor."
"Are we giving one of these another going around?"
"Sure why not? So I said to the doctor."
"I was going to offer a response to that."
"To what?"
"You asked why not and I was on the verge of an argument against leaving more bloody worn out footprints in the overtread so I said to the doctor."
"Bloody worn out footprints?"
"In regards to all the circles we go in."
"Like that time we circled that area with the hills made out of bed coils."
"Everywhere we go we manage to go around in circles."
"Name some other places we went in circles."
"There was the ditch with the rotten pancakes."
"I remember the rotten pancakes unfortunately. What else?"
When I remember to forget
I forget with the condition
That I remind myself
to make a reservation
somewhere inside myself
somewhere outside myself
to hang in there
to be hung out to dry
grabbing the broom
keeper of the rocky yard
from spilling onto the roads
with holes in them
"There was the well we kept ending up at until we were beaten up by those men."
"Lawyers they were."
"How did you know they were lawyers?"
"The comments they made."
"What sort of comments?"
"I object to this and I object to that."
"They objected to us? Everyone objects to us."
"They used some other legal terminology."
"Reminiscing were they?"
"While they kicked our asses."
"And sent us on our way."
"Since when has it ever been our way?"
"Since they kicked our asses. A thorough ass-kicking can set you straight."
"Until we end up in circles somewhere else."
"Until we end up in circles somewhere else."
"Well?"
"Well?"
"There was the well."
"Do you think it was their well?"
"It ended up being their well after the fact."
"Well after the fact. It had been dry for who knows how long."
"One of them actually wore a watch I think. It stood out to me because I specifically thought to myself that I hadn't seen anyone with a watch for some time some undetermined amount of time."
"It wasn't a watch. It was a spiked bracelet. It stood out to me because I specifically thought to myself that hurt after he hit me with it."
"I specifically thought to myself."
"I know what you specifically thought to yourself. I believe you that you thought you specifically thought to yourself something or other."
"That explains why you've been stuck with me for so long but I was referring to something else another something or other. It wasn't a dream. I know when I'm awake and that is truly a sad thing. I once thought to myself what if I stood on the edge of a forest and I know it's due to my thinking my specifically thinking to myself what if there is a forest at the end of the desert even though I'm a little more than beginning to suspect that there is no forest at the end of the desert and there's always this bundle of nerves in my brain just before I specifically think to myself and this bundle of nerves confers with one another and decide let's give him enough rope and then I see myself standing at the edge of this big forest the kind you could hide in for the rest of your life and standing there in my way is this person and they look like all the people I have ever sat across from in a job interview and they ask me what would you do in this situation: go back, stay where you are, or go forward? And I find myself looking down at the sand and then I look up at their face and their expression where sand and bark meet where the gestures of impatience and indifference meet where the thoughts behind the scouring eyes of where's your gratitude? and don't you realize I brought this forest with me? meet. And I answer them that I don't recommend any of the options. And as it all starts to fade into a dry well, rotten pancakes or bed coils I know I keep putting the forest there I keep putting it there at the end of the desert even though I'm a little more than beginning to suspect that there is no forest at the end of the desert and I still see the person's face no forest just their face and I specifically think to myself I guess we'll stay in touch."
Toward what seemed like an appallingly drawn out matter of course the events of the night twisted around and between limbs of dissatisfaction curling shards into frozen smiles dripping into bowls of moldy salsa ignored and thawing frustrated glimpses of puffed up expectations under slices of limelight pitted against fixtures of determined and pathetic squandering of attention toward what had seemed as if it had a familiar lack of a developed sense of possessing a ring to it between knuckles as he fell off the chair and was made aware of the scraping of wood against skin and bone of his back sitting with a thud his body folding and staying slumped in the sleeping bag diaper of his current adherence to the floor mitigated by the perspiration and excrement in the seat of his pants under the bleachers accompanied by the disposed not so eager to rejoin the top or the bottom or the top of the bottom of this upended place ready or not whether or not all are ready put an end to it already.
- Max Stoltenberg
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